If you’re tired of writing reports for your supervisors, perhaps you should take a cue from Ruth A. Dennis, historical branch librarian at the Green Lake Branch of the Seattle Public Library. Dennis’s reports were often literary, and always filled with a wry humor. For the quarter ending June 30, 1928, Ruth begins by quoting the biblical book, Lamentations, and follows on in tone from there:

To the Superintendent of Branches:

“The ways of Zion do mourn, because none come to the solemn feasts; all her gates are desolate: her priests sigh, her virgins are afflicted, and she is in bitterness. 

Her adversaries are the chief, her enemies prosper, … her children are gone into captivity before the enemy” (Lamentations).

Yea, verily, the ways of Greenwood-Phinney do afflict us!  But unlike Zion, Green Lake has not sinned; so is punished unjustly. Our enemy has caused, during the past two moons, a loss of 1280 in our junior circulation and sore are our hearts against them.

More information about Ruth (and her lamentations) can be found at HistoryLink.org: The Free Online Encyclopedia of Washington State History.